Categories
Tag: Moshe
Unlock with Patreon
Categories
July 23, 2020, Correspondence
Texts between the Moshe and I
On July 23, at 4:05pm, Moshe wrote:
Hi X, I passed Takaka yesterday but my phone had no battery and I moved on to the west coast :/
Enjoy your trip, maybe we’ll meet again in the future!
4:22pm – Hi Moshe! That’s cool, Takaka was a little weird for me somehow. I’m actually heading to an AirBnB in Westport tonight. I’ll be there for a week, so let me know if you’re in the area and want to hang out.
5:23pm – Seriously? I’m currently in a free campground in Westport and heading south tomorrow so we should meet tonight. If that’s cool with you if I can take a shower in your Airbnb that would be awesome!
6:09pm – Cool! I just got on the road, so i won’t be there until about 8:30, but i will text the guy and ask
6:22 – Sorry he says it’ll be too late at night. He says there’s a public pool with a shower – Pulse?
6:26pm – Ok thanks!
Emails between Dad and I
On July 22, 2020, at 5:18am, I wrote:
Hi Papa! I was staying up in Takaka yesterday, in the Golden Bay area, and there was a cute little lake a few blocks away from the hostel called Lake Killarney! So, of course i thought of you!
How are you? It’s been a while since i heard from you, and i hope that you and your wife are enjoying the summer! How is everything in MD? Are you able to go out and get some sun, or is it all under lockdown still? I hope you’ve both been happy and healthy! Have you been able to go to services?
I think I’ll stay here in NZ for another few weeks… Again! Seems like every time i think about scheduling a flight home, Covid gets worse over there, or there’s some sort of chaos. I don’t know, i worry about you guys! I’m doing well – i found a nice cheap place to stay in Westport for the next 5 days, so i’ll have a relaxing weekend, maybe spending time on the (cold and windy) beach or hunting for jade. I love you and i miss you both, X.
On July 22, 2020, at 6:28pm, Dad wrote:
Hi X,
Thanks for the Killarney Lake photo, and the news included.
I just sent you $75. Let me know if you need more.
Today and yesterday we had tremendous thunderstorms. Before that we had a week and a half of humid heat wave.
Did you receive my email and text msg from, I think, Friday? Before then, we didn’t have any communication between June 27 and now.
I am so glad to hear from you, and to know that you are okay.
On July 23, 2020, at 2:31pm, I wrote:
I’m so happy to hear from you! It’s great that those storms cleared the humidity out of the air, but it sounds like they gave you a show! I hope there weren’t any downed trees or floods.
I didn’t get either your text or email last week, sorry. My phone number is a NZ number now, so the old 240 number won’t work for texts, but i don’t know why i didn’t get your email. I can send you the new number if you like?
I just wanted to check in and make sure that you two are still happy and healthy! I know it can’t be easy under all these restrictions. I hope that you’re able to go out a little!
Thanks, i did get the $75, and it is appreciated. I’m still in my holding pattern – wandering through NZ, staying at hostels and checking the news from home often. The news is a little worrisome! Stay safe!
I love you tons! X
On July 23, 2020, at 1:25am, Dad wrote:
Hi X,
We are both healthy. My wife saw the dermatologist surgeon, and he spliced and stitched up her lower right ear lobe. She hasn’t worn an earring for years. She should be able to wear earrings in 3 months. The stitches get removed in 2 weeks.
In the last email, I didn’t say anything about the situation here.
It’s about the same as before – public buildings require mask, interaction with service requires mask, wash hands after shopping or office visits, restaurants open with spacing, churches open with spacing & also have zoom meetings.
Airplanes with mask. Hotels you must ask / and if open- reserve.
Some states (democrat influence maybe) are trying to push tests on as many as they can everywhere. I have been without any symptom. All the doctor visits (about 8 of them) and the Ben Weiser the dentist are satisfied to just take our temperature and question us at the entry. But this one gum-surgeon dentist insists that all his patients get an official test and in addition self-quarantine for a week regardless. I decided to postpone only this gum-surgeon, as I am not in pain and don’t feel decay where one of my crowns are off. It smells of politics to me, just sayin’.
Anyway, I am not on “lockdown” or as some call it “self-quarantine”. I go out to the grocery store once a week, pick up at the pharmacy once a week, take walks in a park twice a week (everyday around the apartments outdoors), visit a doctor every other week – you get the idea. I won’t hire someone to goof it up for me. I’m somewhat of a caretaker and I absolutely need my freedom of movement. Sorry for the “rant”.
I am not sure if the $75 will do much good. I had to pay a high income tax for the year 2019, because it was such a good year for stocks. It doesn’t matter that 2020 was a lousy year basically at the start of covid (job losses, stores closing giving me a 15% loss in investments), but my fiduciaries are doing a good job. The value is on its way back, maybe catching up by September to what I had in February, as each week in April-July there was a 1.5% gain in my investments.
Hold your head up high, daughter! We shall get through this.
Love,
Papa
Emails between Mother and I
On July 22, 2020, at 4:54am, Mother wrote:
Good morning, my Darling X!
I hope you have money for the internet, huh? I got this dream: we are with my schoolmate filling up the lottery tickets and I say: I will take this, you take that. Guess what! I won $12 and she won $110 000! My boyfriend tells me: why you gave her your numbers? I say: she needs the house, I do not need a house, I have one! Yes, it is a section 8, but it is luxury apartment building!
It reminds me that that they were talking about Leo can win the lottery in this new moon on July 20-23! X, if you can spare a dollar or two buy a ticket, try your luck, you need the extra money so much! Good luck, my darling baby!
I talked to my boyfriend, and he said: I hope she would ask for help before she is in the situation when she doesn’t have money for the internet after it is already not a situation – it will be a disaster! Please, be kind to yourself.
I tried to call your father on e-mail, he has not answered about three days. He usually answers in two hours. I hope he is alright. Can I send just a check to you personally if your account is not working? I put aside [how it is helping now?!] $1250 for you, so, after all the penalties you will have at least $1000 on your hands. Maybe, we can send you in the form of travelers check, huh? Maybe, it is the best way to deal with it, just you must have the address where you be receiving it. Nu, how to do it? Don’t be quiet, help me, X!
But your horoscopes are so good, all of them say. From your side, you are tired of them saying it and the situation is the same. What can I say?! Just don’t lose the hope, without the hope it is hard to push the tractor up to the hill. Love my precious baby, love a lot and some more,
Have a wonderful sunny day,
Love, Mother
On July 22, 2020, at 6:22am, Mother wrote again:
The last one I listened to about your horoscope, she said: you are worried about the documents because you do not know what is going on there. It will be untangled at the end of July so you will be able to breathe freely.
And everything about your papers, immigration “status”, or any other “status” will be clearer at the end of July and the beginning of August until August 6. The heavy Saturn [of hard labor and the discipline] is coming out on July 20 but good planets are coming in. Whatever you do for yourself in this period until August 6, will bring the fruition in November, December. The keyword: do! So many good things she spoke about [not only she, about three other people] about the good things which would happen in your life from now on. I am even afraid to mention. Yes! I am mention or not, they will happen anyway as it was in the case of your Sister! What I can do?! Things happen because they are written in the stars not because I want them to happen or not!
Good luck with everything. Yes, it tells: you will radically change your career [I do not know how, when Kiwis are not very kind on opening their doors to the new immigrants! but it is not up to my little brain to grasp].
It said: you all of sudden realized that you came to the end of your previous career, you know about it all that you wanted to know, and now it is boring for you. You feel you need the next level. Something you hold in the secret for a while – it would be public- and it will give you a new success [in society], new life, new direction. You will be popular to have a lot of new friends and admirers. Find ones who have a substance, can actually help you with your “papers”, who is kind to you, understanding you and not using the situation against you. And all other real [not fake] good things. You will see it, I better do not talk about it now. Be safe, healthy, happy as it is possible when you are in the foreign land.
Love my baby so much, and some more, Mother.
And still, I think it is a miracle that God holds you there, in the land far away from all the disaster Trump brought upon this land. At least, you are physically safe from covid19, do not have to walk around in a mask. I hate it so much! But I have not a choice – I do not want to go to the hospital or on a ventilator, so I am wearing it at public places, which are starting the moment I leave my apartment, just in the hallway!
The last week they opened the pool, but I wasn’t there yet: you must get a ticket for a day, each day a new ticket, no guests allowed to be in the pool. The ticket is for just two hours, no more than 20 people at once. 20 people! It is like soup there would be!
If I am going out, to groceries or post office, or CVS, I am taking the shower after to wash the germs out of my body and face. Try my best to not get it, it is a spook again here, but it looks worse that it was at the beginning, even in Maryland. But it is safe here. At least, I asked in the lobby, they didn’t have any cases in the building.
X, help me to send this money to you at least for your birthday! Also, I thought, you are self-conscious about it, but how much I owe you, huh?! You did me favors good as no one else would do, and I still didn’t pay to you for them, for cleaning up, for moving me here!!!! Think about it! You earned it! It is yours!
Love my baby. Love her a lot. Mother
Categories
July 22, 2020, Journal
This is almost impossible. Almost. But for the Divine, nothing is impossible and the improbable is hilarious.
I got to Pohara Beach yesterday, (just outside of Takaka) and I like it here. Being alone has given me the gift of slowly reconnecting to my faith. That sounds Christian. That is not at all what I mean.
Faith is essential in yoga, and if I follow any written rules, it’s those in the yoga sutras1. Clearly, brahmicharya2 (abstinence) has been a problem for me recently. Faith in a higher power, ishvara pranidhana3, is the last in the list of 5 niyamas4 (observances) that tell us how to take care of ourselves in order to enjoy yoga (union).
This is how we align our inner moral fibers so that they, as well as our muscles and nerves, can be an efficient conduit for God. Everything doesn’t have to be aligned perfectly for the spine to be a divine superhighway, but the more of your being that is set straight and smooth, the more inviting of a pathway it is. It’s just a matter of allowing enough linear space within you to let the river flow. It took me a decade.
That superhighway, once built, has always been there for me, but it can be difficult to access if you allow the weeds and brambles of the world to obfuscate the path. It’s best to keep it in good repair with daily maintenance: yoga, meditation, oil massage, time in nature, correct eating and sleeping habits… All these observances take up about half of my time, money, and attention. Just so that I can get high from feeling a strong current of God pulsing through me.
Is this wrong somehow? It feels so good to carry a live current in my spine. Feeling heaven must be wrong.
Ishvara pranidhana is when you surrender to being the wire and you let your life whip wildly across the cosmos as that live current sizzles home to itself.
Where did it start? When I made the decision to go north to Takaka last week? When I decided to extend Pup’s life by a year with evil surgeries? When the great human chessboard of the Covid-19 Lockdown was set into position in March? When I slept with Moshe in April? Is this because I made a wrong turn back in Nelson two days ago and ended up at a hippy crystal shop buying weirdo crystals like vanadinite and apophyllite?
This morning, I spent an hour searching the internet for my next safe haven. Following the path of least resistance (well, more accurately, of least investment), I found a very inexpensive room in Westport on AirBnB. There’s always a very good reason why a room is inexpensive, and at the peak of winter in the South Island of New Zealand, that reason was often a lack of heat. That wasn’t the case with this particular room – the host specifically mentioned a space heater. I scoured the listing. A kitchen, an indoor bathroom, a comfortable-looking bed, access to the washing machine… I kept scrolling down… where was the reason? Perfect reviews… a pleasant suburban location… the page ended with a profile of the host. His photo had been taken from a distance, so his round face occupied no more than 24 blurry, brown pixels.
Nevertheless, my heart lifted and I smiled at the certainty of our confluence. Yes. That One. And I knew that was the reason. There’s always a reason.
The room in Westport wasn’t going to be available until the following night, though, so I had to find shelter in Takaka one last time.
Did God take the reins today in the cafĂ© at noon, when I read an ad for discounted accommodation at a local hostel? When I decided to have the half-price chocolate-hazelnut croissant that has given me no end of belly cramps? As I smoked a mostly medicinal joint in the alleys between route 60 and Motupipi Street? When I rolled into the parking lot of Takaka’s tourist information center5 around 2:34pm? Did I make even one single decision today? Ever?
Carmen’s wheels hadn’t even settled into the parking spot I’d chosen before a dented mustard-yellow caravan pulled into the lot. It parked near the pay showers, and I thought I saw a familiar face through the windshield. Impossible.
I tried and tried for a better look as I walked up to the tourist information center, but all I could see was a pair of eyes watching me over the caravan. I couldn’t be sure because it was almost impossible. I mean, the odds are so slim. In this exact town, at this exact time? Highly improbable.
As I spoke to the woman at the front desk about my options for accommodation tonight, I found it hard to remain the dutiful tourist. The woman (Yvette, if her name tag is to be trusted) had a bright, earnest presence, like a high school girl friend that could keep any secret. Nervous with the impossibility of this moment, and excited by this rare chance to converse with an intelligent, friendly woman, I kept peering out the window to confirm the impossible. I think the isolation of the Covid lockdown was my excuse for telling kind Yvette every detail of my amorous adventures in Otago. Everyone was hungry for interaction. It was so exciting to tell my story and to be able to point out one of its characters in this very parking lot! He hid behind the caravan for a thousand years, rooting around for showering supplies until I gave up. Then I saw his face for a moment when he came around to the back of his caravan – yes!
It was him! It was Moshe from the Lodge! I’d travelled almost 800 kilometers and almost 11 hours to get away from my lovers in Lake Hawea. The one Israeli that I slept with during the lockdown was somehow a few dozen steps away. And he seemed to be avoiding me.
Clearly, the universe wants me to have sex. I can’t escape my dharma. Neither should he.
Doubt and that old fear of having a twisted and untrue perspective came up to my surface. Do I accept this dance from the universe? Or is this another cosmic joke?
“The bay has a way of bringing people together,” Yvette said, as serious as a witch. She was lovely and young, and she had this job because she has experience in this town.
I want to understand how it works. How do certain places hold and direct energy? Does it have something to do with astrology or geology or our own flawed search for meaning? I struggled with my determinism as well as Moshe’s, and asked Yvette whether or not I should approach him.
Yvette told me that I’d only seem creepy if I came from a creepy place, so I squared my shoulders, opened my heart, and went outside to talk to him. It appeared as though Moshe was in the shower. There were two outdoor stalls along the back edge of the visitor center parking lot, just to emphasize New Zealand’s thoughtfulness. They cost more than the showers we’d had at the Lodge during Lockdown, so I imagine that Moshe was taking every advantage of this luxury, as it appeared that he’d been living in his van. If he ever did emerge from the shower, he’d probably feel a little vulnerable. Waiting for him would be creepy, so I dared to leave a cheerful note under the windshield wipers and drove off.
And fuck if he didn’t call 3 minutes later. I almost didn’t answer, but I did. We chatted vaguely about our adventures over the past month. Moshe had explored the eastern edge of the South Island and was heading west, like me. Because I told him that I was staying in Takaka that evening, he assumed that I’d be there indefinitely. It wasn’t necessary to correct him. Moshe was on the move, and I felt a sense of relief that our relationship was so tenuous.
We’d had almost 2 months to form a bond during lockdown, but our age difference had made it easy to escape into our own respective languages and cultures, so that bond was slender and weak. I wanted a nice Jewish boy! But Moshe is really still a boy. He’s almost half my age, and frankly, he’s boring. Although I knew that it would make him infinitely more delectable, it would be unkind to show him the darkness and decay of maturity. There was really nothing else to say. I imagined him shrugging his wide, young shoulders as he closed with the hope that I might see him in a few days when he drives back through Takaka.
I won’t. That ten-minute conversation resurrected an ancient distrust of God and His Plan. As far as I can tell, the Plan involves continual mistakes and misinterpretations on my part in order to entertain the jaded Divine. This cosmic game, this lila6, has no object… How can I have faith in such devilry? It seems like allowing God to direct my life has run me headfirst into a brick wall.
Yvette seemed to think that there was unfinished business between us, but I think Moshe’s instinctive response to this afternoon’s chess board configuration was actually the wisest: duck and cover.
1 https://www.judithhansonlasater.com/writing/2014/11/20/tb7p1jhvohw7l9s03w3e6wxxtooy4p
2 dlshq.org/teachings/brahmacharya-celibacy/
3 https://www.ekhartyoga.com/articles/philosophy/understanding-the-niyamas-isvara-pranidhana
4 https://www.yogapedia.com/definition/5142/niyama
5 https://www.goldenbaynz.co.nz/directory-listings.html?id=148
Categories
May 7 – Day 43, Journal
Categories
May 1 – Day 37, Journal
Categories
April 30 – Day 36, Journal
Categories
April 22 – Day 28, Journal
The Devil. Lust and addiction.
Ace of Wands. Lust and inspiration.
And the Moon. Today is the new moon; the fresh turning of a page.
The next full moon will be in Scorpio! Secrets will surface, and submerged passions will bare themselves in the light of that moon. Hopefully, right? That’s what makes this lockdown so fun!
But that’s 2 weeks away! I can’t wait that long. I’ll have to immerse myself in the darkness of the new moon, to practice surrendering to the empty page.
It’s cooling off as autumn progresses, and it seems that most of the Israeli kids don’t go out for a daily walk, especially not alone. I wish they all would spend some time alone with nature, because i enjoy it so much, and i want them to experience God like that, too.
Today, I shared one of my secret spots with a bunch of the Israeli kids. It was nearby and easily accessible to Moshe, who is only now trying to walk after being on bed rest. It’s been maybe 2 weeks since he hurt his back. He’s been in considerable pain, but he’s managing to self-medicate fairly well.
I visited him once or twice while he was immobile, since Room 5 is just across the hall from Jessica and I. He was weak and vulnerable and alone – a predator’s dream! I hoped at least to set some foundations for a friendship that might have benefits. Maternal sympathy for his poor back always won out over lust, of course, and I couldn’t figure out what to do with him, so I slunk away and let it go.
It turned out that the crowd that would be following me to my secret spot was rather large. We’d been told to stay in groups smaller than 4 when we left the compound so that our bubble of 22 would be less intrusive to the locals.
The locals had been horrified when a large group of the Israeli kids – about 10 of them – had made an exhilarating game of jumping off the Albert Town bridge into the cool aquamarine river 10 meters below. This happened only a few days into lockdown, when it was still warm and fear was still poisoning peoples’ hearts. Numbers were called, videos were taken, fingers flew, bubbles shuddered, and Peter had to give the kids a stern talking-to on behalf of the police sergeant.
So, we left for my hidden cove without warning. It was a wink and a word from Ariel, and i grabbed the bong and whisked the kids away with confidence.
I wanted to take them into the little bower that the Mormon had found. There would be plenty of space in the dappled shade of the willow for us all to spread out along the river and watch its current flow.
They didn’t want to go all the way into the bush where we’d be truly hidden under the tree, in our own world. I didn’t press them too far, because they are so young, and must be forgiven for being timid. Cautious. Wise to an old predator’s tricks.
How do i separate one from the group?
It was enough that they were in the sun and off the compound, so we huddled in a somewhat secluded area on the grassy riverbank. Secluded enough to break out the bong and a baggie and a case of beer, anyway.
Finally! We were out in nature, laughing together, softening together. Now, if only i could engineer inner joy and outer silence for these cute kids, they’d be well on their way to bliss. But that’s not my journey, not my business.
Silence is a challenge for most people. When silence blessed our mellow group, it rested for less than a minute before sweet, bright Joseph murmured:
“How many different birds can you hear right now?”
They eagerly rose to the challenge: 3, 6, maybe 5; the numbers popped up to replace the avian symphony with the human ego. They joked lightly, and I heard Shira’s razor-sharp wit for the first time.
Shira looks suspiciously like Venus posing on the half-shell; her rich golden-brown hair waving long and loose almost to the waist. She’s Joseph’s girlfriend. Shira’s smile is wide and sexy, so it was easy to think that she got along with the guys so well because she was the most relaxed of all the Israeli girls. She drank and smoked and jumped off the Albert Town bridge in a bikini like a gangster.
My inability to understand Hebrew kept me from hearing her clever tongue. Today, they all spoke in English for me (God, i love these kids) and I finally got to hear a perfectly-timed retort from her sword-sharp mind. This is why she’s so beautiful!
She came up with a fun little game: we’d just go around and disclose our favorite animal and the color of our underwear. They all had such sweet animal totems: Shira was giraffe, Ariel was a sea turtle, Moshe was a whale, Joseph was a penguin. I chose a wolf. We laughed at the color of our undergarments, and then we had to go around and make the noise of the animal we’d chosen. What does a sea turtle or penguin even say? Giggles and guesses sufficed. I was the last to go, and I’m proud that i only hesitated for a moment.
I’ve practiced my howl, in the dark emptiness after my dogs’ deaths. I know the timbre of that foreign tongue, even if i’m not fluent in the language. It’s wildness and pride and grief and surrender. It’s the heart of the Earth singing both sides of the story: both love and sorrow.
I kept it light and short, but i didn’t deny myself the truth of the wolf’s voice. I threw my head back so that my throat was in line with heaven and earth and the despair of everlasting love poured into the clear sky like a column of smoke.
We laughed at ourselves and gently stumbled home before it got too dark.
On the way, Itai told me that the door to Room E in the vacant lodge across the street was open. Just unlocked – anyone could walk right in and have their own private space.
In return, i told him that i’d found the key to Room 8 in our lodge. Room 8 has been locked since the beginning, since we fill the other 7 rooms evenly, if not comfortably. That room was kept unoccupied, presumably for use as a quarantine chamber. I snuck in and found a nice double bed and a bunk in Room 8. Seems like a good shag pad to me, but i didn’t tell Itai that.
Our bubble is expanding.
Categories
April 12 – Day 18, Journal
A sudden rainshower disturbed my copasetic yoga practice this morning. I wonder what Alma’s up to, with her poor broken face. We often suffer injury at our weakest point.
It was starting to rain, so I thought to bring in the communal towels that were drying outside. As I folded in the foyer, Avi came through, and we marvelled at how it was raining in the bright sun on one side of the house, but not on the other.
Peter, Alma’s husband and servant, came through a few moments later, and I asked after her health. Folding the towels is Alma’s domain.
“Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.” I widened my eyes to indicate the vastness of anything, met his fearful gaze, and felt the sex spark unexpectedly deep in my uterus.
Feelings aren’t that powerful unless they are acknowledged by more than one person. Who started that spark? Am I just receptive, empathic and feminine enough to feel people’s feelings, or can I use my own sex-energy to fuck with people?
A storm is brewing to the northwest. Miriam thinks that a storm is brewing inside as well. I hope so! I feel so alive, so happy here! I haven’t been this happy since Pup.
I’m finding more joy in these social interactions than I thought was possible.
Moshe hurt his back playing volleyball while Davina and I were making peach jam from the generous tree in the backyard. A disc injury in the lower back, above the 2nd or 3rd vertebrae.
Same as the tension in Avi’s back. Typical of a young man spending too much time in front of a screen – i’ve seen the same tightness in almost every man I’ve dated.
Avi asked me for some yoga moves to help his back, and Miriam assisted in our healing session. She kind of cock-blocked me without knowing it, but he has Sara, and I adore Sara as much as I adore everyone here. What is wrong with me? A vast heart.
Miriam is a healer, too. It’s so good to talk with someone who understands energy in people. She’s lived life and she gets it, like a mother does. I love her, too. I sometimes wish I was the kind of person who could be a good friend.
Davina, too. I love her, too – her depth, her earthiness, her Israeli bluntness and her Scandinavian sweetness. I think i inadvertently hurt her when I said that I wish I could be playing volleyball while we were making jam together. But, of course, I wanted to be there with Davina and the jam! That’s why I chose to be there, and not at the ill-fated volleyball match that caused such injury to Moshe’s back.
It seemed like the whole compound was at the match except Davina and I, so I only heard what happened second-hand. There were several games, and Moshe landed on a previously injured spot on his back during a heroic save.
I thought I could help Moshe that evening, and I tried to place healing energy into his back. He said that he didn’t feel a difference, but my bones felt shaken and my shins tingled heavily, like dull brass.
Sometime during the second game, Jessica got offended and flounced off the court. She told me it was because Ariel gave her an exasperated look after she missed several shots in a row. Everyone else told me it was because she’s a bitch.
I can see that Jessica is having a difficult time in this strange situation. She’s more and more inclined inwards, and i see her getting lost in her fears. Some days she just won’t respond to my (admittedly far too cheerful) greetings. She’s always looking down and in – her phone, her laptop, the oven, the stove, the Bible… I guess whatever’s there is making her grumpy.
She did say that her hormones got out of control in the weeks before her time of the month, and it made her cranky. Well, here we are. I think she needs to get laid.
The 4 single guys (room 5) were hanging out in the dining room a few days ago and i asked them if they’d decided who would get Jessica and who would get Christine.
“If this really was the end of the world,” I asked them, “if the Coronavirus destroyed mankind, and all that was left was this one bubble of the Zula, what would happen? We’d have to repopulate the planet, for sure, with as much genetic diversity as possible. You’re the single guys – that means one of you has to take Jessica and one of you has to take Christine. It’s your duty to the entire species.”
A good-natured argument ensued, with much finger-pointing and bawdy laughter. I love these guys! Ariel and Itai agreed they’d rather be with each other than with Christine. Jessica’s fate was unclear.
It’s surprising to me that these young ladies have such lovely figures but such repellant personalities. Not that being attractive sexually has anything to do with one’s value. It’s just that the pieces are all there inside of these young women (warmth, kindness… nu, what else do you need to be a pleasant human?) and these pieces don’t match up to make a whole that is desirable.
I just wanna juggle those pieces around, match up some edges for them. But dammit, it’s none of my business.
If there’s one thing that I learned from killing Pup, it’s that you shouldn’t fuck with the way things are.