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July 23, 2020, Correspondence

Texts between the Moshe and I

On July 23, at 4:05pm, Moshe wrote:

Hi X, I passed Takaka yesterday but my phone had no battery and I moved on to the west coast :/
Enjoy your trip, maybe we’ll meet again in the future!

4:22pm – Hi Moshe! That’s cool, Takaka was a little weird for me somehow. I’m actually heading to an AirBnB in Westport tonight. I’ll be there for a week, so let me know if you’re in the area and want to hang out.

5:23pm – Seriously? I’m currently in a free campground in Westport and heading south tomorrow so we should meet tonight. If that’s cool with you if I can take a shower in your Airbnb that would be awesome!

6:09pm – Cool! I just got on the road, so i won’t be there until about 8:30, but i will text the guy and ask

6:22 – Sorry he says it’ll be too late at night. He says there’s a public pool with a shower – Pulse?

6:26pm – Ok thanks!

Emails between Dad and I

On July 22, 2020, at 5:18am, I wrote:

Hi Papa! I was staying up in Takaka yesterday, in the Golden Bay area, and there was a cute little lake a few blocks away from the hostel called Lake Killarney! So, of course i thought of you!

How are you? It’s been a while since i heard from you, and i hope that you and your wife are enjoying the summer! How is everything in MD? Are you able to go out and get some sun, or is it all under lockdown still? I hope you’ve both been happy and healthy! Have you been able to go to services?

I think I’ll stay here in NZ for another few weeks… Again! Seems like every time i think about scheduling a flight home, Covid gets worse over there, or there’s some sort of chaos. I don’t know, i worry about you guys! I’m doing well – i found a nice cheap place to stay in Westport for the next 5 days, so i’ll have a relaxing weekend, maybe spending time on the (cold and windy) beach or hunting for jade. I love you and i miss you both, X.

On July 22, 2020, at 6:28pm, Dad wrote:

Hi X,

Thanks for the Killarney Lake photo, and the news included.

I just sent you $75. Let me know if you need more.

Today and yesterday we had tremendous thunderstorms. Before that we had a week and a half of humid heat wave.
Did you receive my email and text msg from, I think, Friday? Before then, we didn’t have any communication between June 27 and now.

I am so glad to hear from you, and to know that you are okay.

On July 23, 2020, at 2:31pm, I wrote:

I’m so happy to hear from you! It’s great that those storms cleared the humidity out of the air, but it sounds like they gave you a show! I hope there weren’t any downed trees or floods.

I didn’t get either your text or email last week, sorry. My phone number is a NZ number now, so the old 240 number won’t work for texts, but i don’t know why i didn’t get your email. I can send you the new number if you like?

I just wanted to check in and make sure that you two are still happy and healthy! I know it can’t be easy under all these restrictions. I hope that you’re able to go out a little!

Thanks, i did get the $75, and it is appreciated. I’m still in my holding pattern – wandering through NZ, staying at hostels and checking the news from home often. The news is a little worrisome! Stay safe!

I love you tons! X

On July 23, 2020, at 1:25am, Dad wrote:

Hi X,

We are both healthy. My wife saw the dermatologist surgeon, and he spliced and stitched up her lower right ear lobe. She hasn’t worn an earring for years. She should be able to wear earrings in 3 months. The stitches get removed in 2 weeks.
In the last email, I didn’t say anything about the situation here.

It’s about the same as before – public buildings require mask, interaction with service requires mask, wash hands after shopping or office visits, restaurants open with spacing, churches open with spacing & also have zoom meetings.
Airplanes with mask. Hotels you must ask / and if open- reserve.

Some states (democrat influence maybe) are trying to push tests on as many as they can everywhere. I have been without any symptom. All the doctor visits (about 8 of them) and the Ben Weiser the dentist are satisfied to just take our temperature and question us at the entry. But this one gum-surgeon dentist insists that all his patients get an official test and in addition self-quarantine for a week regardless. I decided to postpone only this gum-surgeon, as I am not in pain and don’t feel decay where one of my crowns are off. It smells of politics to me, just sayin’.

Anyway, I am not on “lockdown” or as some call it “self-quarantine”. I go out to the grocery store once a week, pick up at the pharmacy once a week, take walks in a park twice a week (everyday around the apartments outdoors), visit a doctor every other week – you get the idea. I won’t hire someone to goof it up for me. I’m somewhat of a caretaker and I absolutely need my freedom of movement. Sorry for the “rant”.

I am not sure if the $75 will do much good. I had to pay a high income tax for the year 2019, because it was such a good year for stocks. It doesn’t matter that 2020 was a lousy year basically at the start of covid (job losses, stores closing giving me a 15% loss in investments), but my fiduciaries are doing a good job. The value is on its way back, maybe catching up by September to what I had in February, as each week in April-July there was a 1.5% gain in my investments.
Hold your head up high, daughter! We shall get through this.

Love,
Papa

Emails between Mother and I

On July 22, 2020, at 4:54am, Mother wrote:

Good morning, my Darling X!

I hope you have money for the internet, huh? I got this dream: we are with my schoolmate filling up the lottery tickets and I say: I will take this, you take that. Guess what! I won $12 and she won $110 000! My boyfriend tells me: why you gave her your numbers? I say: she needs the house, I do not need a house, I have one! Yes, it is a section 8, but it is luxury apartment building!

It reminds me that that they were talking about Leo can win the lottery in this new moon on July 20-23! X, if you can spare a dollar or two buy a ticket, try your luck, you need the extra money so much! Good luck, my darling baby!

I talked to my boyfriend, and he said: I hope she would ask for help before she is in the situation when she doesn’t have money for the internet after it is already not a situation – it will be a disaster! Please, be kind to yourself.

I tried to call your father on e-mail, he has not answered about three days. He usually answers in two hours. I hope he is alright. Can I send just a check to you personally if your account is not working? I put aside [how it is helping now?!] $1250 for you, so, after all the penalties you will have at least $1000 on your hands. Maybe, we can send you in the form of travelers check, huh? Maybe, it is the best way to deal with it, just you must have the address where you be receiving it. Nu, how to do it? Don’t be quiet, help me, X!

But your horoscopes are so good, all of them say. From your side, you are tired of them saying it and the situation is the same. What can I say?! Just don’t lose the hope, without the hope it is hard to push the tractor up to the hill.  Love my precious baby, love a lot and some more, 

Have a wonderful sunny day,

Love, Mother

On July 22, 2020, at 6:22am, Mother wrote again:

The last one I listened to about your horoscope, she said: you are worried about the documents because you do not know what is going on there. It will be untangled at the end of July so you will be able to breathe freely.

And everything about your papers, immigration “status”, or any other “status” will be clearer at the end of July and the beginning of August until August 6. The heavy Saturn [of hard labor and the discipline] is coming out on July 20 but good planets are coming in. Whatever you do for yourself in this period until August 6, will bring the fruition in November, December. The keyword: do! So many good things she spoke about [not only she, about three other people] about the good things which would happen in your life from now on. I am even afraid to mention. Yes! I am mention or not, they will happen anyway as it was in the case of your Sister! What I can do?! Things happen because they are written in the stars not because I want them to happen or not!

Good luck with everything. Yes, it tells: you will radically change your career [I do not know how, when Kiwis are not very kind on opening their doors to the new immigrants! but it is not up to my little brain to grasp].

It said: you all of sudden realized that you came to the end of your previous career, you know about it all that you wanted to know, and now it is boring for you. You feel you need the next level. Something you hold in the secret for a while – it would be public- and it will give you a new success [in society], new life, new direction. You will be popular to have a lot of new friends and admirers. Find ones who have a substance,  can actually help you with your “papers”, who is kind to you, understanding you and not using the situation against you. And all other real [not fake] good things. You will see it, I better do not talk about it now. Be safe, healthy, happy as it is possible when you are in the foreign land. 

Love my baby so much, and some more, Mother.

And still, I think it is a miracle that God holds you there, in the land far away from all the disaster Trump brought upon this land. At least, you are physically safe from covid19, do not have to walk around in a mask. I hate it so much! But I have not a choice – I do not want to go to the hospital or on a ventilator, so I am wearing it at public places, which are starting the moment I leave my apartment, just in the hallway!

The last week they opened the pool, but I wasn’t there yet: you must get a ticket for a day, each day a new ticket, no guests allowed to be in the pool. The ticket is for just two hours, no more than 20 people at once. 20 people! It is like soup there would be!

If I am going out, to groceries or post office, or CVS, I am taking the shower after to wash the germs out of my body and face. Try my best to not get it, it is a spook again here, but it looks worse that it was at the beginning, even in Maryland. But it is safe here. At least, I asked in the lobby, they didn’t have any cases in the building.

X, help me to send this money to you at least for your birthday! Also, I thought, you are self-conscious about it, but how much I owe you, huh?! You did me favors good as no one else would do, and I still didn’t pay to you for them, for cleaning up, for moving me here!!!! Think about it! You earned it! It is yours! 

Love my baby. Love her a lot. Mother

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July 13, Correspondence

Texts between the Mormon and I

On July 13, at 11:44am, the Mormon wrote:

got there ok? How are you getting on?

3:57pm – Hi! Yeah, all good, thanks.
I had the chance to visit with one of my lockdown friends!
It was so good to see her again!
But she says there are no jobs around here.
Think I might head north tomorrow.
How are you?

Texts between Drew the Drug Dealer and I

On July 13, at 7:04pm, I wrote:

Hi Drew! We met maybe a month ago and the Mormon gave me your number.
I’m traveling up your way again, and I was wondering if you could hook me up?
If not, no worries – I know this is kinda out of nowhere.

7:06 – Give me a holla when you’re in town and I’ll see what I can do

7:06 – Sweet! thanks

Sunset near Lake Tekapo

Emails between Sister and I

On July 1, 2020, at 7:35am, Sister wrote:

Hi Sister? Did you feel the earthquake in NZ? Are you still there? 
The European Union banned travelers coming from USA. Travelers from New Zealand are allowed.

Anyway I hope you are ok

On July 9, 2020, at 4:09pm, I wrote:

Hi Sister! I hope the kids have a wonderful vacation, even though things are still upside down. They look happy! 

I still don’t have a good plan. I would love to visit – thank you so much for that joyous possibility! But I checked out the travel restrictions, and they say only EU citizens are allowed to travel to France right now. I saw that they would accept more people (just health workers and students though?) after July 10, including New Zealand citizens – would I count? I wrote an email to French Foreign Affairs, and we shall see what they say! I would probably need to do 2 weeks of quarantine anyway.

The Mormon is gone, finally. He was lazy and a nudnik, and I’m pretty sure that all the good guys are taken. There’s no good reason to be here. Sorry, I wish I had some news. I didn’t even feel the earthquake! Mama is pushing me to stay here. I’ve been able to delay my taxes and yearly eye exam, so I might as well stay for another few weeks. But I truly have no idea what I’m doing here. I’ll be headed out of the Otago area (where the Mormon lives) towards Christchurch again this weekend. The Mormon was right – this place will suck you in. I think some locations are like that – our hometown, too. It’s often seemed like a black hole to me. We both escaped!!

Anyway, this hotel is nice, and i’ve been able to heal a lot in the past week or so. My back and right hip and ankle are bothering me from driving or from the cold – I am so old! Mama was right – arthritis is no good! But they have a good bed and hot showers here. I’m enjoying healthy food and a good sleep schedule and I feel better than I’ve felt in weeks. Can I blame the Mormon? Probably not.

How does the summer feel? Are people relaxing finally? I guess if hotels are closed, there are still no tourists? I finally got a haircut last week and it feels so good! I got rid of 4 or 5 inches of dead stuff. And a few days later, one Mormon. 

I miss him a little. But this short and ungraceful relationship is giving me a lot to write about, so I’m so grateful for all of my experiences here. So, my days are writing and yoga and cooking now, hopefully to be repeated in several choice locations around this sweet island for a little longer!

I’ll let you know when I get a response from the French Foreign Affairs office. I’ll be going to the American Embassy in Christchurch on Monday to try and figure out a plan of sorts. I hope all is well. Sometimes I imagine that, by the time I leave NZ, the whole world will have already gotten the coronavirus, and I’ll have to contract it anyway just to be a part of society once I’m off this island. Maybe it’s best just to catch it and survive it?

I love you and thank you and wish you and the family a happy Bastille Day!

On July 10, 2020, at 10:30am, Sister wrote:

X? you are alive! It so nice to hear from you! I did not realize my last email was so cold and rigid. Sorry about that!

What guy exists that is NOT lazy and a nudnik? All the ones I’ve ever met are! Did you have to develop arthritis in those freezing conditions in the van? That is too much!

We are getting old, eh? What was that you said?

Here are some news updates that accumulated while you were cloistered up as a hermit (but not too crabby… gosh, my sense of humor is getting progressively stale as the years go by).

They voted green in my city! Our mayor is an ecologist. She is going to develop the parks and maybe make tram free for all children under 18 and other people too. That will make it easier for me – i won’t have to do all that extra multiplication in my head every time the children ask to go to Orangerie! We actually just walked there the last 2 times. It was a disaster. The eldest stepped on a bee the last time… we had to walk all the way home. Luckily a handy banana peel soothed her foot temporarily… until it kept slipping out of her sandal. Poor girl.

On Monday, the synogogue gave the children gifts, as usual at the end of the year. Hebrew books mostly… but the eldest got a surprise gift, some kind of blue-tooth earphones. The children were so excited with it; it worked with my phone. But the fourth child did not go to Hebrew school, so she had no gift. She cried in the secretary’s office – but a cute, quiet crying, she had tears in her eyes, “why don’t I have a gift, too?” so the secretary found some sticker book and gave it to her. Then she was happy.

The eldest with her new headphones forced me to figure out what the heck is bluetooth. I felt like some primitive caveman with all my lack of knowledge. She’s already better than me with my own phone! (she’s giving me lessons on it)  How embarrassing!

The eldest actually says she remembers Grandma (our mother) and trying to repeat some Russian words after her… and you! She remembers stuff I already forgot, like when Auntie slammed the door after she was playing with your bra?? There were other instances… it all seems funny now (at least to me…) when you were angry because of a pipi the second child did on the floor? The eldest actually dreamed about you a week or two ago. She said we were all in a haunted house (dirty, no light at all) and then you prayed in her dream (yes! Auntie X in the eldest’s dream was praying), and the whole house was filled with light. I hope things are OK over there! You’re so far away from everyone! 

I better go! Sorry for babbling away as we Geminis sometimes tend to do! Love, Sister

Grafitti on a water tank in Geraldine

Emails between Mother and I:

On July 8, 2020, at 2:35pm, Mother wrote:

Today, as never before, please, stay put where are you! Read the news from the Babel, the USA. I do not see any improvement, not in the COVID-19 numbers, not in the political shifts.

The head of the country – is stupid. His policies are harmful to the country, for our lives, health, business, promised happiness. Money for the people and unemployment lost in Kushner’s and Trump’s many companies’ deep pockets. The unemployment rate is growing, as is homelessness, the random crime and racism. I do not believe I am living in this kind of time, I thought they were finished and past away in my Grandparents’ lives. 

Please, my Darling X! Do everything which is in your power and what is LEGAL to stay in New Zealand, appeal to the right instances, people, offices. I know how much you hate bureaucracy and meaningless running from one to another but no one could do it for you today, just you. Please, be kind to yourself and stay there now. Wait for the changes in this country. Hopefully for good. You know. You know the rest. Love my precious daughter with all of my heart, Mother.

On July 12, 2020, at 7:36am, Mother wrote:

Hello, X! Shabbat Shalom to you! I hope you are alright. 

I saw your pictures on Instagram. Such beautiful places. Please, be safe, keep yourself healthy, write to me if you need help. Help me help you. But stay there as long as you may do so!

I saw another article today: they want to free 8,000 criminals in in California because of the corona. You are so much safer there, so much more! Ain li milim! I am speechless! I miss you. I wish I could hug you and hide you. But it is so much better for you to be in NEW ZEALAND today than in the USA. People are crazy, dying like flys and still do not wear the masks! Some Karma is boomeranging the USA for all the racism and hypocracy they did to me, to you, to blacks and to native Americans. I do not know other interpretation for all this. Love, Mother.

Looking at the Southern Alps from the Canterbury Plains

On July 13, 2020, at 6:19am, Mother wrote:

How right you were!

On July 13, 2020, at 6:31pm, I wrote:

Hi Mama, 

Of course I’m right – I’m YOUR daughter!

Ha! I knew a nonviolent revolution could succeed! Tell me, how did they pull it off? Did the rebels band together and march on the White House? Was it an internet coup?

I hope you are doing well? I guess I will stay here for 3 more weeks, at least. I seem to say that every 3 weeks! I’m back in the north part of the south island for the warmer weather. I still don’t know what to do or where to go. I hoped there would be more clarity after Mercury went out of retrograde, but there isn’t, and I’ve had delays in my travels. I think I can put off my life in the US a little longer. I am not sure that I can afford a life here, but so far I am ok, I think. I need to figure out how to check my savings account, and then I can tell you whether or not I have a money problem.

Thanks so much for offering to help! But I do feel guilty – the money is yours and I am wasting time here. I need to find a solution where I don’t have to take from you.

I heard that some states are closing again. Are you ok? I hope that you are enjoying the summer a little? It must be so nice and warm there!

I know it’s been a while since I wrote, but there’s not much news. I’m still floating around the country… You’ve seen the pictures! I’m in a town called Geraldine, for another night anyway, and then maybe I will go find a warm beach further north. Not that warm, though! It really is winter here.

I bought a space heater at a thrift store, and I’ve been taking it into all my hostel rooms because they are stingy with heat here. This room doesn’t even have a heater! And it’s a nice place, too – you would like the chandelier in the bathroom. Thank you for your letters! I love to read them, even if I am lazy on responding. It is good to know what’s going on over there, and I’m glad you think I’m in the right place for now. The tourist visa that I got when I arrived is good for 2 years, actually. I’m just not supposed to earn money. Well, these poor Kiwis are trying to restart the tourism business here with no tourists, so I guess I am helping their economy as much as I can with my American dollars. At least I’m doing one productive thing here!

I love you very very very much!!

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July 2, Correspondence

Texts between the Mormon and I

On July 2, 1:13pm, the Mormon wrote:

How are you going? Sleep better I hope?

1:27pm – Hi Yes! I got 9 solid hours last night! How are you?

1:28 – Should I come over or are you working?

1:32 – Just finishing off the bottom of the field then ill be free. Say 1 hour we go for a walk down the lake wig the dog then we can hang out for a bit?

1:33 – Ok! See you then!

Emails between Mother and I

On June 15, 8:16pm, Mother wrote:

The most precious thing in my life! How do you do? Should I even ask?!

Before I will forget all those many words: About the taxes: file for an extension online. Go to the free IRS website and file form 4868 – so the penalty will be lower, or none. You have time before July 15th to file it so you will be out of their hook and have space to breathe.

2- Your ex-mother-in-law. No, I didn’t talk to her on the telephone, she spared me this torture. She reached me via Facebook. Oh! Truly! Why you? Out of all the children and relatives she has, she chose you to cry on your shoulder? It is strange to me. At the same time your ex-husband is bragging there he has 2500 jumps! Why he is not at the bedside of his dying grandfather? She calls you to come to sit at his bedside from NZ? I am dumb or I do not see the logic here. 

I think something else there went wrong, it is all about the money, maybe they are all fighting for it already now and she feels isolated and treated unfairly? Do I care? I feel sorry for a person in her situation, but not more than this. Also, she was very nasty to me and you, in general, even when she thought she is “nice” to you! Keep in mind. It is maybe, he put you in his will and she tries to wiggle, extort it from you? Just a random thought.

When you receive it, [IF] say: thank you, God, it is some righteous judgment there, in the Heavens! Take it and go into your new life! If not, well! Say thank you, God, I knew one grandfather whom I loved and it is good. 

About the grandfather. My dear! If he has stage 4 lung cancer and a stroke… I’m not sure you will be able to see him if you try come here just for it. It is a lost cause if taken to account his age. It is all noble of you, but …strange is the fact that she reaches you and no one else! After her mother passed away they had a big fat birthday party for him. I didn’t see you on any of those pictures! Some hypocrisy there is going on. Countryside mentality, I never can understand it. 

3- So, make this reason to come to the USA the last thing on your list. His life, very long and happy life is over. Your life is in front of you. Let him go in peace. Now you are in the tunnel of time where you are the most important person in your life whom you should cherish and think about.

4- How did your father send you money? I have an idea to send you some money, so you don’t have to deal with him. You must tell me some things like addresses or numbers? I was thinking about the Moneygram? DO not worry about it – it is extra money, that I got from Father when he sold the house. In a sense, it is your money, too.

5- Oh! I am so happy that you started to write! You are good at it, you are the best in it from all people I know! Good luck with it! Oh! I am so happy to hear it! It will make you happy! I told you, money is not a problem, ok, it is a big problem, but it is solvable! But, to find the time to write – it is difficult – and you have it as a gift! I am glad you are using it so creatively! 

6- before you come here tune-up to the news on the USA motherland and make the plans for your trip back home accordingly! See: where are floods, fires, unrests are here – Now it looks as though in the northern states there are fewer problems, but you do it according to the news. Now it is too early to talk about it.

7- do not worry about the money or your trip. Worry today about today’s problems. Tomorrow – God will give you means and wisdom to solve tomorrow’s problems.Yes! I am so glad that you are in NZ now! and a bit more. Maryland is stable now, for a week. So they think to open the state on or after June 22, today I heard.

8- about the July 12th -if you like this date for your return – do it. I will look at what my usual astrologists are talking about and come back on it to you later on it – too many of them! but trust your guts! Be courageous! Do it and be glad about your decisions!

Next month, if it will work, I will try to send you some more money, so you do not have to feel limited. I am glad you got some good warm clothes! Why you went to the south and not to the north where you said is warmer? It is cheaper here? Or there were the traveling restrictions? Don’t worry – everything will shape up. Eventually. It always does.

Have a wonderful day! Good luck with your writing! Maybe it is your happy future, who knows? I love my baby so much! God bless you in everything you think, create, do, planning. God will guard you, save you, and light your way to freedom. My prayers and my heart is with you,
Love, Mother

On July 1, 5:34pm, Mother wrote:

My dear?!

If you forgot about Mother’s existence, I didn’t about yours! I hope you are safe and healthy. How are your writings are coming along? Are you enjoying your new project?

I assume, you are reading/watching the latest news from the USA, that why you do not communicate with me? Also, I understood you do not want any help from me?! Nu, X, you are an adult young lady. I assume you know what to do. Or, you are angry because I am poor?! I have no idea why you are do not want to communicate with people who care for you for real, not fake.

Do you want to come back now, or in Autumn? Please, let me know a month or two before it. I must talk to the office to be sure that you will have space here in the building. With me, maybe, you would be able to live about a month before they notice it and it is legal, but you are used to such wild freedom – with me you will feel suffocated. I am afraid I will irritate you with my presence, my habits, words, whatever differences we have not according to your book of proper Mothers.

I love you this way or another, but you are different now. Excitement will wear out in three days and then you will notice I don’t conform to your standards. Me? I just want you to be happy, satisfied, have peace in your heart and your soul.  I always wanted it, but it is not enough, huh? You must remember, I am in a different phase of life. It still surprises me, but I am 65 years old lady! I never knew I can live for so long! Nevertheless, my Granny lived up to 93 or so, and her grandmother up to 111 or 112, when her husband left this world young, at 108! 

If you need help, you must let us know about it. We are here for you. Do not tell it too late when we will be unable to do something to be helpful. Reset your connectivity with the world, it is about time.

I enjoy your pictures. A lot. However, they are all taken in such desolate places, like you are alone in the wilderness. It makes my heart sink to the first floor when my body is still stuck on the seventh floor. Can you have a safer way to have fun? 

Have a beautiful enjoyable day! God bless you in everything you do, you think, you decided to do. As I said before [blame on my intuition, again!] taking the route which is parallel to Canada, or in Canada, and then down around the Great Lakes, New York, Maryland. I feel it is a safer way home. But you are the smartest person in the room, I trust you’ll do it right. 

My prayers and my heart with you. Love my baby, love a lot, and some more, Mother

On July 2, 5:22pm, I wrote:

Hi Mama! I did my extension – thank you! I filed form 4868, and it was a small challenge, but thank you so much for helping me. I still don’t know what to do. The psychics were right – there has been a resurgence of the virus. So, all I can think of is to wait to come home until July 13, when Mercury goes out of retrograde. I have no better information upon which to base my life decisions!

I don’t know if there is anything here for me in NZ. I’m done with the guy I was dating, and I can write from anywhere in the world. I don’t really want to go to the U.S., but what else am I supposed to do? 

How are things in Maryland? Have you been out in public? How is your partner? And his mom?

On July 2, 6:10pm, Mother wrote:

Oh! My dear! My partner is alright. He had the corona, he got it from Mother who had it from his sister, who didn’t wear the mask. I got it too, but I think the blood type 0 [could be?] helped me. So I am always washing my hands and wearing the mask in public.

But my partner had it stronger, and his mother the worst of all of them. I think I had it twice because each time before it I would have a dream of the coronavirus as a symbol of death in my dream: he looks at me and I look at him without blinking, he sees I am not afraid of him and he passes away.

My partner’s heart is in NY, with mother. He is rarely here. His car is broken now, it would be in the garage for a month because they have to change the engine. He feels obligated to take me to the grocery store. I buy the groceries, he is not so generous, yet. Nudnik. I am glad you got over with the forms and taxes! Congratulations! It is the worst! I love you, My prayers and my love are always with you, Have a nice day! 
Mother

On July 2, 6:59pm, I wrote:

Sorry, I didn’t finish my letter and accidently sent it. I stayed on the South Island because I heard that the ferry to the North Island is fully booked until September. Maybe it’s true, but I thought I would spend time with this guy, and now I am sick of him. He is a nudnik.

So, I have no good reason to stay except for avoiding America. Is that a good enough reason? Maybe I should face my responsibilities and real life again, but I don’t really have a real life in the US.

I don’t feel good about taking your money. You earned it, and you should enjoy it – maybe a lovely vacation! Or keep it for a rainy day. Enjoy it! Don’t worry, I will come crying to you if I really do need money. I don’t know how much money I have left. Probably enough. I really have no idea what to do or when to leave. Maybe that’s a sign that I should leave? We’ll see how the lunar eclipse goes tomorrow. I wish I could be more helpful. I know you would like to know when I’ll be home, but I don’t know.

I hope you are enjoying the pool and some wonderful summer sunshine! I love you! X

On July 2, 8:54pm, Mother wrote:

Oh! My dear! It is true! Leave the nudnik behind! It is the worst type of people, they suck you into their nudniking state and you are lost there – from my own experience! It is hard to unglue yourself from this state!

Looks to me, you didn’t see the latest news. It is 50,000 new cases in one day, Wednesday, in the USA. People are stupid here, nothing new.

What I think, if you’re not sure about the USA, maybe go to your sister in Europe: it is a less dangerous place to be, and see if you can help your little sister with her children? Take some load from her shoulders and enjoy the school of ducklings, huh? Then, maybe, you will find a right ideas for your own future actions? Also, for me, it is will easier to worry for you all if you are in one safer place. It is just an idea.

You have your own relationship with your sister and it’s so complicated! I wish you both would be less touchy when it comes to the relationship between each other, I even do not know where to start with this problem. One thing I know – you both need each other so badly, but both are so proud that you will never admit it not yourselves, not to each other, not the world!

Just lose this guy, make a space for a better person in your life. Did I think, also, maybe, you can apply to some school there in NZ? But, it also costs money! OK, don’t you mind me! 

On July 13, I am afraid some states will be “closed”. One of them is California. Maybe you shouldn’t come there in July. Talk to your sister, see what is going on; maybe it is the least painful landing for you at this time.

I am thinking more often now: How it comes, that you landed in NZ, the “clean” country from the corona out of all the countries in the world? When here the pandemic is going in circles like crazy? What does it mean? Does God hide you from this disease? Are you are so much more precious in God’s eyes that we even ever know, appreciated it?!  Does He have something so much more important for you to do in this world than just be in NZ? What is His purpose for you?

So far, staying in New Zealand looks to be a reasonable solution to your problems. I am still convinced that NZ is the safest place on the Earth today [I do not know what will be tomorrow, but the USA is for sure the hell on the Earth today] Maybe, God did guide you there to save you?! I think, the more time you are in NZ, the less you would like to come to the USA. 

We are so nearsighted we know nothing about what is going on with us! But God sees all our lives from a different perspective, and also, He is Merciful, and a kind God; He is not a human, He is a Holy Creator of us. He loves us, doesn’t matter what we do, we think, we scream, He has all the kindness for us, to protect us, to save our souls and our hearts and our bodies from unnecessary hurt. I think it is rather a blessing that you landed there, a miracle, maybe, if you take to account the combination of circumstances how you got there. God is Merciful, my Darling X. I think I am starting to understand His plan for you: He wants just to save you from what is going on in the USA.

Maybe, this period of humiliation and tragedy is just over and you are ready to say to it: “bye-bye”!? Bye-bye to your ex-husband, to death, to loss, to sadness… And start a new blank page with peace in your soul and mind, with experience to reject the evil, with openness to just goodness.

I do not know. I do not know what you should do. But I am sure when you will know it, I will know it, too. I will support you 101%.

But the nudnik must go, you need space to think and create your dream, yes, one astrologer said: Be courageous and dream big because all that would be given to you.  It is a sun coming into your house, so you will see a light and with it the understanding of your situation. She also said to not lend your money, be quiet about your affairs, totally quiet about your plans, beware of backstabbers, watch that someone will not steal something from you in the beginning of July. Keep your money for yourself; you will need it later in the year. They are jealous, with their drool from their mouths for your money.

I am at home because I do not have licenses or a car, no passport, and everything is closed, anyway. My personal nudnik just promised me the vacation, but his heart is in NY, with mother. But at least he got a smaller storage room, so, on the weekend we moved all the canvases and the rest of the boxes there into the new room, which is 10X5 feet but costs 4 times less!

Also, thank you, X, for the exercises, you showed me for the nerve which goes from the spine to the legs. I do it often, or else! No, the pool I am not enjoying, or the gym room: they are closed due to the corona. If you staying in NZ just because to avoid the USA – it is the best reason to stay put there. I am sure it will be better there for you later [when the cold will go away]. 

I just worry so much: you are coming here for what? The USA does not have work for you, in fact for another 40% or so of Americans now. There are no benefits, no job for you here now! Just misery! And the same homelessness that you experience there. My partner said you may apply for the food stamps, but you will be on the very bottom of the list.

People are fooling around with signs: BLM! and others are with weapons or the loops for hanging. So stupid! They didn’t solve the 400 years old problem and now the LAND here is like a disease, open wound here! It looks like we are on the brink of the revolution or something like this. It is not your problem. If you can, wait there for them to calm down, then come, when it will be some normality here. If you will tell the truth to the NZ government that you just afraid to come back now to the USA – they will understand you more than you know it. They see the news more than you and they know more what is going on here! It is just you that is oblivious!

I wish you would have a real friend and not a nudnik on your side there!
God bless you, He would save you, I am sure He has a purpose for you. He has for everyone. He will reveal it to you soon. It is just a time in your life, like a… gum. It will be stronger, more stable, I am sure of it.

OK. The last pictures you took of the ocean and those spheres are so beautiful, it feels that your mood comes better. It reminds me of the art of some Asian artist who doing art and destroying it as a part of the creative process, part of the artistic performance; as here the water of ocean would erase your artworks later… It is some symbolism in it.

What you say, huh? I love you so much, my heart is bleeding for you. But one is never to know what a great plan or projects God has for you. Let us trust Him. He is a faithful God, only that I know from my life experience.
The rest… we will see and understand later when the blinders will fall off our eyes. Just do not be frightened, be strong, confident. Because you are not alone: mine and your father’s [I am sure of it!] prayers are with you. Also, God is with you. With Him, any situation is always a winning situation. God is always with you to bless you, your mind, your heart, your soul.
I love you, Mother 

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April 3 – Day 9, Correspondence

Emails between Sister and I

Dear Sister, Yes, you know how Mama tries to brainwash!

It’s too obvious, though – whenever she reaches a particular stage of passion on her chosen subject, i automatically start doubting the truth of her words. I feel bad that i don’t take her seriously, but her truth is different than the real truth sometimes – it’s colored to protect her.

She always tells the story of her divorce where i stayed with Papa and rejected her, as if i deserted her, as if i made a decision against her. Well, yeah, i can’t live with her, but i stayed with Papa because i felt sorry for him and i wanted to live in a safe, stable place after Australia and before college.

My decision had little to do with her. Well, maybe i wanted to avoid her excessive emotions, but i was 16! I had to worry about applying for college and prom, not soothing her and counselling her.

She is very obsessed with her own perspective. Even when i correct her about how things happened, she still only remembers her own story.

I see that she also wants me to be obsessed with her perspective – always pushing her ideas – but i’ve learned to detach. I really enjoy figuring out my own perspective. It’s fun, like a puzzle – what is the truest truth for me in a situation? 

Frankly, it’s rude that someone would take that joy away from me. Not just Mama; Papa, too, with his religious ideas.

His perspective of the truth is not even his perspective. It’s someone else’s (Moses’? John’s? Scott Brown’s? Who knows) and he’s just so pleased with it that he’s memorized that perspective and spits it out to anyone who will listen.

He just happens to have a mass of people behind him (the owners of this lodge, too) who are the same. At least Mama has original stories… All with the same plot, of course: the world is evil and against me, and i am an innocent victim. 

Unfortunately, we are stuck with that story in our heads, and it stains my view of the world. I see it though, and i’m trying hard to scrub that stain away so that i can have a clear, true perspective.

They are vampires! I’m always exhausted after i spend time with either one of them. They take my attention and i see how they feed off it.

I feel like they’re starving for someone to truly listen to them. Do they not get the love they need?

Why should i give my life-energy when all i get in return is bad memories from Mama and this uncomfortable box to live in from Papa? He makes me feel fake and worthless and the sad thing is, i think it makes him more comfortable to see me living inside this tiny box of what he thinks is right.

I can’t even explain that i am so much more than the child he thinks i am. I don’t think he has the capacity to understand the richness and subtlety of my adult experiences.

If i can’t be who i am, how can i relax? And if i can’t relax, how can i love?

I’m supposed to be studying hebrew verb forms, and i cannot concentrate on them! Just like my childhood. There is an adorable fellow (they’re all adorable – so young!) named Moshe who is trying to teach me hebrew. I need to be a better student, but i am struggling to focus on the grammer.

*update: poor Moshe hurt his back playing volleyball, so no lessons for a while, i guess.

So, Papa is giving us our own money so that he can feel important and gather our gratitude while he is alive? That sounds right. I thought his generosity was suspicious.

And i know the stock market is super-low right now, so basically, i am stealing from myself. He offered money several times, and I finally asked for $740, because that’s how much the new plane ticket was. I was shocked when he offered $3000!

It was really hard to find a way to transfer the money – he wanted to use a particular app, Zelle, that my bank wouldn’t accept, and it took about 3 days of writing back and forth for him to accept a different app.

And even then, he only sent $500 to see if it worked. Which is reasonable. And it did work! After another 3 days. And now he wants to wait until the 15th to send a similar amount. At this rate, it will take 2 more months to get $3000.

Is he playing some game of getting my attention? Is it cheaper for him somehow? Yeah, i really don’t like it when someone promises something and doesn’t deliver.

Just state your wishes in the beginning! If you don’t want to give me money, don’t! I never asked for $3000, and now i’m involved in this elaborate game of Chase the Money.

*update: i got the first $500, and the second $500 is en route, and now he’s asking if i want more! Did he promise $3000 or was that a joke? Do i have to beg for each $500? What game is this! I do not want to play anymore, and i do not need money from him that badly.

Yeah, the idea that his wife’s kids are getting half of our inheritance irks me, too. And they ask for it all the time! No shame! It’s a different type of person.

How did we end up with so much self-respect in ourselves? Maybe we saw that we wanted to be very separate from our parents from an early age? Because they never really fulfilled our needs so we learned to live on our own quickly?

Geez. My roommate smells. None of the boys smell this much. It’s cold, so i have to shut the window and huddle near the heater, right next to her clothes.

How does a girl smell so sweaty all the time, especially in this cold? I know, she is of a Pitta (fire) constitution, and they have the strongest smell… She can’t help it. Well, she could eat less meat and wash her clothes. But it is unpleasant, and i am rarely in my room because of it.

I’m finding ways to enjoy this situation, and i was surprised to find out yesterday that i am truly happy right now!

Really full of joy! It’s probably all this young energy around me? I feel like everyone likes me, and i really love everyone.

It’s agape love – that brotherly love that covers everyone – and it’s authentic and brings me joy. I’ve never felt like this for longer than a few days.

I’m being myself, and people here are generous and kind, and they all work together with good hearts. Maybe it helps to see the dawn over the wild ragged mountains every day, or the clean, cold river. Maybe this is the lesson here, and i was meant to experience this.

Aha!! I thought, at the beginning of my NZ trip: this is where i’ll learn about the element of air. This is a land of birds and wind and sky.

But!! Within us, the element of air is in the heart chakra (according to Vedic philosophy). So maybe, a lesson in air is actually a lesson of expansion for the heart? 

See, this is where yoga goes into uncomfortable territory for these bible-thumpers. It’s too much information.

If you breathe and stretch the heart-space open, you will expand the heart and loosen the knots of fear and past trauma trapped there. Yes, it is an excellent exercise for the cardiovascular system, but feelings will arise.

These people are afraid of feelings (fear is the opposite of love). Why, i don’t know. You have to feel to heal.

When I first got here, I laid down for 20 minutes on my back with a large pile of laundry under my rib cage and then had a good cry, and I feel wonderful! There is now space to contain this strange, all-encompassing love. 

That’s the thing with yoga – it can heal physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually – it’s up to you how far you want to take it.

You can feel energies in your body and learn to shape them. To me, this is understanding God.

Defining the location and function of the energies by calling them chakras is necessary because english doesn’t have words for it. Sanskrit just another language – it’s not evil.

It really bothers me that they consider everything outside of the Bible as evil. The world is bigger than that, and God is bigger than that. 

Ok – too much with the yoga, I know. In general, all is well, and I hope I can use the ticket that I bought to go home on the 28th. Should I try to start something with one of the boys?

There are 4 single ones, between 22 and 24, and I’m looking for a diversion. I love being old and divorced and not caring at all what anyone thinks of me. 

Well, all the best to you and the family! Good luck with school! Will you be finished with that in May? I’m so happy that the river is cleaner! This pandemic could be a restart for our civilization if we allow it. Sorry for the very long email.
I love you!

On Apr 2, 2020, 11:43 AM, Sister wote:

hi X, i hope mama did not brainwash you with that old “you tried to run away from us but we are your family engraved in your heart”. you don’t have to bear that. 

Papa is NOT your family. Even Mama is NOT your family.

All they did from the beginning is tear us down ( and they are still doing it).

Both of them are vampires.

Just God alone is your family.  

We are NOT engraved in your heart: you are free and independant. The only one engraved in your heart is God alone, and not your mean family.

I know how you feel because she tries to push this idea of family on me. but i just don’t feel the vibe because of all the mean things they said and did. 

Mark 3:33 “Who are my mother and my brothers?” he asked.

34 Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! 

35 Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.”

Well, I’ll let you figure what god’s will is. At least it is not lying (or defending other people’s lies) and manipulating. I am not sure how you can get out of that stuffy house .

when I was taught Yoga, I always considered it a sport, not a religion, so I’m still quite confused by that idea that yoga is harmful to your soul. I am sorry, but i do not understand.

I heard that idea before. when I took yoga classes, I enjoyed stretching… I did not find it spiritually dangerous. at least not more than swimming.

I wish you could make a beautiful new start in new zealand, far away from the parents. But with papa’s connections, it is a bad start. How can you escape?

Papa did not hesitate to send praises to God to everyone he knows for the result of his righteous acts. one small problem: they are spiritually hurting and undermining you. I hope you can get out of this situation without too much damage.

did you ever get the money or was it all a show? (like I said, it is not from his pocket, but he takes it “on bad rates” from your own inheritance account. I’m not sure if our step-brothers have an account or if papa sends them money from his own pocket. either way it is insulting that he puts a satanic witch’s children on the same level as his own flesh and blood).

Good-bye. I hope I did not gossip too much or hurt your ears. I am just concerned. Love, Sister

On Friday April 3, at 5:02AM, Mama wrote:

My Dearest X!
I listened to one video while I was eating my breakfast. The point she made there is the people who are strong inside are usually are surviving all of these epidemics. People, who have support from the people surround them. 

If you feel you are not fit and feel the prosecution – you better go away from those people. Now as never before we need the inner stability, inner KNOWLEDGE  that we are excepted, we loved, and just left at peace and will be not pocked!

She said we were taught for many years: give the other cheek, forgive, don’t pay attention. She said: now is time: to put your foot down on a brake, Do not let no one humiliate you, keep distances.

If a person harassing you – tell her/him what you think about her behavior. Keep the hygiene, keep the distancing. Stick with relatives – who loves you [it is me] and kick the relatives who have nothing to do with your well being. which is Papa.

Make sharp divisions, borders. The inner confidence will save you, every one of us. That what she said.By being there – is violates all of your rights and it is NOT right.

The little bitch – is a little bitch -she is not a little, she is growing to be a big bitch. You do not have to tolerate her will to dominance. You can’t? – you go away. I feel, as more, you sit there the fewer options you have for the defense of your physical body, LIFE.

I am very concerned and worry about you. The fucker will survive because you let her win, you will be sick because you will feel that all the world hates you. and your world now it a fucking cult fatherjaka put you in.

I divorced him. it is time for you to divorce him, too. Fucker is a fucker – it is a Constant – it will NEVER change.

Once, in Israel, when I was pregnant with you in the 9th month! It is about a month before your birth, father has this idea from the blue: we must go to the moshav and live in the community of the pioneers-holy-people-disciples.

We went to Finland’s moshav near Jerusalem and “settled”. The fuck was – they hated me from the first glance. They thought: it is not ‘modest” to be so pregnant. what I can do in this stage of pregnancy?!

They thought: I am eating too much in the fucking dining hall, and it is was impossible to hide any food in the room where the temperature is 90-103 degrees Fahrenheit every day and night and mosquitos -like crazy eat you alive day and night.

They like Father: he looked like them: worked in the wooden shop talked the language they understood, and I spoke Hebrew, and they hated the sound of it! I even didn’t know how to cook, so they could use me just like the dishwasher and not for a long – my eczema started to bloom like madness!

In the end: they have had dogs, like nazi around the compound to protect the property. They unleashed on me one mad dog on command! I felt on the ground because it hit me, but I do not afraid of dogs: she thought I will run and be damaged more: but I was so mad: I started to scream on him on a top of my longs: get out of me! And he will not go!

Until she casually called him. Father didn’t get the key for action, but I said I do not do this fuck any more and the next day went to mama. He came after, he couldn’t understand why I can’t forgive and forget. ask now: he is still do not have a clue!

I am urging you: it the government of New Zealand allowed yet to move away from this place – do it for the sake of your physical body, your mind, and soul. YOU do not have to go through this intimidation.   

They are breaking the law by putting you with a stinky person in one room. Where is your isolation is there? It is not! You are not allowed to do yoga – it is what you are all about! It is fascist compound- run, run away and far away from this satanic place. PLEASE.

Also, you were mention of the truck, some kind of the trailer? – NEVER  go there! You are NOT white trash – you do NOT know how to be it, so – even do not try it! Stop experimenting with your luck, safety and trying God’s patience!

Berezhjonogo – Bog berezhjot! God keeping safe who are keeping safe themselves!

It is time to come to civilization where you belong. Stop playing the underdog -as you know – you are NOT it. YOu can’t tolerate even the thought of it! Stop fighting yourself – love yourself, respect yourself, appreciate yourself.

Enough of father’s brainwash, Stop it! NOW.

It is time to save yourself and not to spread yourself thin. Really, X, I mean it. Not because I hate father guts it is nothing to do with it now – because I do not want more damage to you!

He damaged me, it is past. Your life is in front of you. Fuck him and run to the safety.

I will help you. I do not have any expenses now. I bought all the furniture, all the food for 3 months stash. Go ahead, find the dignifying place and live there in peace until you will be able to come back. After they will clean up your passage to home from this virus.

Straighten up your inner centerline, the rhachis. Think. What is BEST FOR YOU. Act. With all of my good intentions and love – I wish you good health, clarity of mind, wisdom, strength, luck. You have to do what you have to do! No one will do it for you.

I do not know. It is some epicenters of the virus there in NZ. You may be listening to the news there, you know where they are. Please, avoid those places, but go out of this compound of satanic cockroaches. Go across the street but go away! Go where you feel you will be safe mentally and physically.

Yes, one of the points this philosopher has made is: when you are mentally fit -you will survive the epidemic no matter what. You can’t be fit in this environment of harassment, it is ridiculous fucking disgusting. I know you – you can’t. What else is holding glued you there?!

You are in my every moment prayers and thoughts.We are all worried about you. Please, please! survive this epidemic! Save yourself! It is worse than anyone thought. It does not discriminate, not young age not nothing. Please! Be safe, keep distances, please! do not be sick! I love you so much! Mother

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March 30 – Day 5, Correspondence

Emails between Mother and I

Hi Mamaschka! No, I don’t have internet here – I have to pay $5 for 1mb of data, which is not a lot of data for all of the problems I have to solve online.

My post office box has been rejecting mail, so I wonder if I will ever get that check from the government. I tried to call and sat on the phone, wasting my precious data on hold for an hour with no results. And my bank decided to change their system, so now I have to waste an hour trying to figure it out and probably another hour trying to understand how to sign up for Zelle so Papa can send me money. Wow. I guess I am in the mood for complaining! I’m sure things are not so bad.

Ugh. My roommate is so nice and American, but she smells. She has a fire constitution, so it is to be expected, but it is too cold to open the window all the time. And maybe i stink, too – i’ve only taken one shower since i’ve been here. I don’t know how cold it has to be for the heater to work, maybe 55 or 60 degrees? But i can’t change the temperature, so i am snuggled into my nice warm bed now. I have 3 blankets, so i sleep well.

I share my room with Jessica, the only other American, there is one Austrian girl, the owners (Peter and Alma) are from South Africa (but they are white), and everyone else is Israeli. There are 22 of us.

Why so many Israelis? Ah! Because this lodge offers 3 free nights of accommodation to Israelis (in normal life…in this lockdown, i think it is free for everyone for the month? Nobody has mentioned money at all. Except the showers cost $2 and the wifi is $5 and laundry is $2).

Anyway, you might ask – why are they so generous to Israelis? Ah ha! So they can preach to them about Jesus!!

Surprise! This place is run by some ministry that loves Israel and Jesus and wants them to be together forever for the glory of their God (of Avraham, Yitzhak ve Jaacov).

Well, you remember congregation – they are the same type of people. Very nice, and very small-minded. Everything goes according to the bible. Except Shabbat. They still want us to do chores on Shabbat.

I am not ok with that, so I skipped it yesterday. We are allowed to take walks around this beautiful countryside, so i took an extra long one and came back an hour after chore-time. I haven’t gotten in trouble for it, so i haven’t had to fight for my Saturday yet. Maybe it will happen next week. I’ve been fired a couple of times because i didn’t want to work on Shabbat, so I’m not afraid of it happening again. There is a camper van up in the northern part of the island that i can rent for $200 a week if i need it. 

They have forbidden me from teaching yoga. I was asked to teach (I didn’t advertise!), and the Austrian girl, (Christine) who is very Christian and young and brainwashed, got scared.

She talked to me and another girl about it, and thought that maybe evil influences could sneak in while the door was open. I didn’t really understand what she meant by that – i guess if you do anything that is outside of the bible, you are susceptible to evil influences? Well, it’s a good thing that murder and war and rape are already in the bible! We wouldn’t want too much evil sneaking in!

Anyway, Christine tattled to the owners, and about an hour after my class, Alma told me that i wasn’t allowed to teach. It’s not in line with their mission. And, if you meditate, demons will surely enter you. That’s what she said! It sounds like something a child would say.

Of course, she is so small-minded that she would never try it for herself, and see that maybe it’s nice to be calm and have less pain. And maybe there are no demons. Are there even demons in the bible? I don’t remember any stories with demons, but then again, i am an infidel myself. An infidel who believes very strongly in keeping Shabbat.

None of the Israelis are religious, so i may be the only one that keeps Passover here. It is so ironic! Me, the religious one? One girl, Davina, asked me to do a guided meditation today, so we snuck off the property to meditate. It was lovely! And we didn’t get caught, so maybe we can do it regularly.

There are some very cool people here – Davina works in wildlife conservation, and her boyfriend, Nathan, spends his free time carving wooden spoons. There is an Israeli family with 3 kids, ages 7 – 13… the Dad is an ex-chef and the Mom is a therapist.

My roommate works with disabled kids, and i think there might be hope for her. She is strong in their faith, but she has a nose ring and a tattoo and we talked about astrology, so she is more open-minded. I’m sure i’ll get to know the others better – they’re all so young!

Well, I am fine. This is a good place in general. Maybe I’m supposed to work through some karma here.

I wish I was alone. I wish I was back in the United States. I should have tried harder to return.

This is a magnificently beautiful place. There are huge, dramatic mountains and a river that is crystal clear and tinted turquoise – impossibly beautiful! We can go on walks, and there are 5 trails in the area.

I guess I have everything i need. I just can’t stand being locked down with 22 people.

How are you? Are you bored yet? I hope you’re doing well!

Much love, X


On Fri, Mar 27, 2020, 6:29 PM Mama wrote:

How do you do? How are things shaping up, going on? I am so glad you are there and not here. It is a disaster here and they say it is just the beginning of it. The census job I was talking about: the census is post- pointed to September. People losing jobs by millions every day.

Just hope, they will send you the stimulus check or put it on your account as they do to every American citizen. It is $ 1200, not bad. You was a good citizen  – you have filed your taxes on time. Unlike me, today, in order that they would have my right address.

I am so glad you are there!  One dude on the internet said: according to the Chinese philosophy there are meridians in general. the 40th meridian is called meridian of death: it goes through the Wohon, China, Itali, New York, Washington, DC, LA, CA… I do not sure how much I should believe him, but it made me glad that you are not here mingling with the stupid crowd here.

And I hope you are not mingling with the stupid crowd there! You have stopped to relate to me. Maybe you doing something you do not want me to know?! Or, you are in such a hell that you do not have any internet connection? I hope you are staying warm and cozy, healthy and safe. Let me know how do you do, if you can.  

love, Mother

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March 24, Correspondence

Emails between Mother and I

Thanks, Mama! I got my rental car, and I’m feeling more optimistic. They gave me a free upgrade to an SUV, so i have plenty of space if i need it. Actually, Papa found a person from his church who lives here, and she knows a guy who has a lodge in the center of the island. So, hopefully, he can take me in – it seems like a good place. I’m waiting to hear back.

I hope you’re ok! How is the lockdown going for you? I guess it’s not a bad thing to be stuck inside. We can be so productive! I hope I do make progress in some project or another. Ok, I should go and get toothpaste while I still can. I love you!

On Tue, Mar 24, 2020, 11:14 AM Mama wrote:

My Dearest X! I love you so much! OK! I am here in a warm apartment and you are stuck there -it is easy for me to take this tone and tell you what to do, but, nu, think! You can do better than the hostel! It is no way to come back to Australia? At least it is someone you know there and it is not so cold? 

If not – Can you go to the hotel and not hostel? Father is sending you money, right? Stop mingle with this crowd! Shake yourself,  respect yourself, push yourself to find the hotel for the $ 41+$ 50+  at night and stay in place there. Even $ 79 at night – praise God!  If Father is stingy it does not mean he doesn’t have money: press and it will be given into you!

It is your money – it is your heritage! Yes, I couldn’t understand when this horoscope lady talks something about it: some money for you as a heritage coming your way, but now I see it clearly, but you must negotiate it, now I see it, she is right! what you gonna do now? sit in a comfortable hotel room and write your life story in the book! Good luck!

love,Mother 

On Tuesday, Mar 24, 2020, 12:46 PM, Papa wrote:

Dearest X, I am glad that you are witnessing the Lord’s timing and His ways. It is truly a faith experience that you will treasure.

I had no idea about how fast the lockdown was happening. I also had no idea that Tracy was a key person to orchestrate this. All I had was “gut feeling” and a couple friends in NZ. So I must give God the glory! 

Jeffery, the fiduciary that works with me, just gave orders to free up some money from my investments. It will show as “pending” deposit in my checking account, I think, tomorrow. As soon as it goes from “pending” to verified deposit, that’s when I can transfer it to your account. I plan to do a bank to bank transfer online. Your bank will then process the transfer. It may happen within this week. If you have banking online you will be able to verify it later on, whenever the process is complete. 

Love, Papa

On Monday, March 23, 2020, 04:16:34 PM EDT, X wrote:

Well, dear Mother, i’m stuck here, i guess. I booked a flight for 4/28 through NZ air. I’m not sure it was a good decision to stay here – all of NZ is on lockdown for 4 weeks, starting tomorrow. I can’t find a good place to stay, and it’s getting cold. I have a blanket, and i bought some warm underwear yesterday, but what will i do for the next 4 weeks? I can’t buy more blankets if one isn’t enough. And it won’t be if i have to sleep in a rental car.

That’s the only solid plan i have right now – rent a car for the rest of my time here, since there will be no public transportation. Airbnb has shut down. The hostels will be crawling with tourists (so many people! There were about 30 people in the massive kitchen at this hostel last night…everywhere! And so close! And never washing their dishes! What are their hands like?)

I wrote to the yoga retreat where i stayed in February – maybe they will take me in? Papa has a friend from his church here, and i emailed her this morning, asking for help or advice or anything. I have 45 minutes left at this hostel where i have free wifi. After that, no internet. No bed, no kitchen. I don’t know what to do. 4 weeks is a long time.

On Mon, Mar 23, 2020, 8:44 AM Mama wrote:

Oh!! If you can – STay behind in NEW ZEALAND! I think it is SO MUCH SAFER FOR YOU THAN COME HERE TO THE NOT PREPARED STUPID COUNTRY!

On Sunday, March 22, 2020, 11:31:55 AM EDT, X wrote:

I think the flight just got cancelled. But i will still go to the airport since i’m here. And papa is great – he’s sending me money actually.