restrictions Archives - Thousand Petals Project

Emails between Sister and I

On June 17, 9:22am, I wrote:

Happy happy birthday, dearest Sister!!!

I hope it is a beautiful day for you! Have fun! Will there be a celebration? Maybe some more beautiful cherries? How are you feeling? Has the fever gone away? I hope you are feeling healthy and bright on your birthday!

I’ve been in Te Anua for the past few days, near the Fjordlands in the south, taking a break from the Englishman. He talks too much and is scared of my driving. The roads here are pretty wild, but I think I’ve done a fantastic job of keeping the car upright. I’m heading back to him tonight, I guess – we haven’t communicated at all. It’s been far too cold and rainy and windy to see the sights around here.

I’d like to go north again, but I don’t know if I should bring the Englishman. Sometimes he is so caring and sweet, and sometimes he doesn’t seem to care about anything but himself. And I feel like I’m too fancy for him when I insist on things like vegetables and heat and soap with no nasty chemicals.

He seems to think I’m too precious or high-class, and wouldn’t my life be way less stressful if I could just be happy with a serving of fries for dinner and a frosty shed to sleep in?

Kiwis take pride in how tough they are, and that attitude is admirable and contagious. I want to be strong, too! But my body is so much happier with proper food and good sleep. You and I have both worked our whole lives to learn what it takes to keep our organisms functioning well. Is it so wrong to be functioning optimally?

I feel so nice after 5 days in a heated room (with its own kitchen – free upgrade!). Even though the community bathroom is a little walk away, (like 50 meters maybe) it’s heated, too!! I don’t have to put a pair of fuzzy socks on the toilet seat just so I don’t freeze my butt off. And there is plenty of hot water! I just took a 25 minute shower as a kind of revenge for all those 2 minute showers I’ve rushed through in the past few months.

Obviously, I can’t afford this high-class travelling life; which, incidentally, costs just as much as “normal” life in the states. Cheap rent there is basically $50/day, same as a cheap hotel room, and just as hard to find. I spend so many hours researching prices and places online. If the Mormon could just take some of that burden off my back… He doesn’t even have to pay, just spend an hour on those travel and hotel websites to find a good, cheap place with heat and a kitchen… I would love to stop worrying about where I’m going to sleep tomorrow.

Flying back to the States isn’t going to change that. I don’t have a home there, either. But I guess I have to? The Englishman isn’t enough to hold me here, and I don’t know what else to do in New Zealand. He’s not a very good Mormon, although he really believes. He sometimes has a cider or wine. And yes, his tea is not only caffeinated, it’s a hot beverage, which Joseph Smith would disapprove of, for sure. Also, having a relationship with me is probably bad as well!

How are all the kids? And your partner? It was sweet of him to make a soup for you! I guess we do need meat sometimes. They farm deer here. It’s weird to see them fenced in. I’m accustomed to seeing them running wild through the forests, and I don’t like the fences. I think I am super cold because I’m not eating much meat at all. Except fish and chips once a month. But kumara (sweet potato) chips! How cool is it that kumaras are native plants here?

I’d better go – check out is in 30 minutes, and I need to pack up. I really would love to see you and the family sometime. I don’t know how or when, but if you ever want me there, just say the word, and I will find a ticket! If not, no worries at all! I love you across time and space!
X

On June 28, 2:17am, Sister wrote:

Hi X! It has been almost 2 weeks since you wrote: I am sorry I did not reply sooner. I got caught up with school since the children were obligated to return until July 4. One more week til “vacation”! not sure what kind of “vacation” that will mean! They did open the German border though, so we actually did go to Kehl.

Germans are a tad stricter. Children have to wear masks from 6 yrs old and up (in France, children are obligated from 11 years old). They were getting ready to call the cops on me because I didn’t get it, and Lila was telling me she felt like her mask was suffocating her… that was the 1 euro shop. (It’s all of a sudden become the 1.10 € shop.) I remembered enough German to figure it out in time.

Is the English dude still in the picture, or is he gone with the wind?
It has already been a long winter for you in NZ. But the cases in the USA are spiking! Do you have a plan?!

If you want to come here, the hotels are still closed, but one of Aziz’s friends could possibly produce an apartment for you for free whenever or however long you want. You probably won’t have to see Aziz’s friend at all, he’s busy with his family. The cleanliness of his friend is questionable (Aziz said he saw a mouse there once). I have never seen it in person, but it has got to be better than a truck. It has its own kitchen, bath, toilet, and the dude’s neighbor said she would clean it, as she does on occasion.

France is in “state of emergency” until July 10 , so I don’t think foreigners (outside of UE) can enter until then. If you come should we keep it a secret from the Parents? Or does it matter? It might even be eventually possible to find a job or at least social security here?

Not much else is going on. I was forced to wait in a thunderstorm for the kids to get out of school yesterday. Luckily we got home before the real downpour started. Today is a bright, sunny day.

Well, keep in touch.
Love,
Sister

Emails between Father and I

On June 25, 8:23am, Father wrote:

To our friends that helped us realize our dream,
We watched and remembered you all in the wedding video that Rob Tanin made for us. My partner and I celebrated last night at il Porto restaurant, that had just opened its indoors to customers (note our lowered masks while we dined).

On June 28, 10:57am, I wrote:

Happy Anniversary! Thanks so much for sending the photos – it was so wonderful to enjoy those memories of your wedding! It was such a beautiful day!

I’m glad to hear that you were able to celebrate properly, too. Looks like dinner was wonderful! Are things returning to normal? I heard that there was a spike in cases recently. Do you think it’s a good time to return to the states? I miss you!

I wish I could have celebrated Father’s day with you. Much love, X

On June 28, 12:58pm, Father wrote:

Hi X,

I miss you a lot. Maryland is gradually returning to normal. Social distancing is still there, as well as wearing a mask in buildings or while interacting with services. Haircut, and nails are by appointment. I think your yoga studio opened, too. The boats at Lake Needwood have opened for the summer on Thursdays thru Sundays. The Putt-Putt will open up in a couple weeks for the summer. No outdoor fireworks though, just virtual is planned.

Last week there was a surge in Covid-19 mostly in California, Texas, Arizona and Florida. That may throw a “stick in the spokes” of your plans.

How are you doing for cash? I could send some if you like.
Love,
Papa

On May 14, at 2:20am, Sister wrote:

Hi X! Thank you, I got the package from New Zealand today! what a surprise!! Manuka honey is so special and healthy! The chai looks delicious… I loved the note written on the receipt – a relic from New Zealand. I totally understand because we had the same paper crisis.

The stores are starting to open up.. yesterday I finally bought a pack of paper for school and drawing. We also had to be creative before. The kids were writing their schoolwork on the back of some coloring book paper (to take photos and send to the teacher). They might not go to school until next September.

I took the tram today. Masks are mandatory, plus they glued a sign on every other seat so people will not sit in them. I like the arrangement – who wants to sit close to smelly strangers anyway?

I am just guessing you were tired of Mam’s and my own foolishness. I got wind of that sensation the other day.. sometimes mam goes on in circles about armegeddon.. it was too much and I am not sure how to respond. Then I realized I did the same to you.

well, coronavirus restrictions are lifting here, but the crisis is still bad in the US. I am starting to feel hope and relief, but mama is probably feeling how I did 2 months ago. But they found coronavirus has been circulating in France since late december, before China declared its emergency.

How have you been? is everything ok? is the flight home fixed? I hope you are well. I have to calm the children down.. my deal was some chips if they will choose a movie they can agree on (and let their father get some sleep!!)
Love, sister

On May 23, at 10:16am, I wrote:

Yay!! The package made it!! I’m happy and only a little surprised! I sent it 2 days before lockdown because i wanted to make sure you guys got the honey. It really is healing inside and out.

I put some on a pimple; it disappeared, i put some on a frightening itchy red spot between my toes; it disappeared, and i even tried it on a monstrous cyst that was appearing on my chin way under the surface; it disappeared after one application of about an hour!

Sorry i haven’t been responsive. You never bother me! I always enjoy your emails! With Mama, it is always a matter of life and death, and i must agree with her, or else i’m stupid and evil. You abstain ever so kindly from that craziness – thanks!

Actually, i met an english bloke, and we’ve been hanging out for the past few weeks, so i’ve been too distracted to be a responsible human being. My ticket is still set for the end of May, but i don’t want to go. But the obligations at home are starting to pile up! Once again, i am lost in indecision.

The rational part of me knows it will be very difficult to make a living here. I see how people struggle to find jobs, and there’s not enough money in the economy to support an artist – especially a foreign one. I’d probably end up working at a restaurant or hotel, which is fine for a year, but i’m too old for stupid jobs. what about retirement?

But it’s the same thing almost in the US right now. No jobs, more fear. People are cool here. But my mailbox and my appointments at home! But what if i can never return to NZ? This is such an amazing place. See, i even said it “N-Zed” in my head!

I don’t know what the right answer is. I’ve been praying on occasion, and “July” was the most direct answer, but it’s getting cold here, and the Englishman lives in an uncomfortable caravan. Level 2 lockdown ended about 2 weeks ago, and i left the lodge almost immediately to stay with him.

I think you would like me to stay here! I would, too. But what am i supposed to do? I will be out of money soon, so i can’t be a tourist for much longer.

The Englishman is sweet, but he talks too much. His place is a little… rustic, shall we say. There is a toilet and shower building about 100m away from his caravan, and there is hot water there. For his place, we get water from the tap outside and boil it in the electric kettle for innumerable cups of tea. It is so so cold though, and it’ll only get colder.

I mean, it’s a wooden box he’s living in, not a house with insulation. I think it’s time for me to go home and try to fix my problems. I will probably be covert about it and not tell Mama exactly when i’m back. It’s been a relief not to have to visit the parents regularly. Maybe i can just do my chores and head west again without telling anyone.

My ex-husband’s mother keeps emailing me, wondering when i’ll be back. I’ve been polite, but i know she just wants me to look after her father so she can take a break. Maybe that would be a good gig? I’m sure they’d pay. Life is so unclear.

You are lucky to have a solid plan: take care of the kids. That gives you some sort of frame to put your life in. I’m lost and floppy. Well, i have to go. Sorry for the strange letter So much love to you! And the kiddos! X

Ps: i wonder which movie the kids agreed on? Do they like cartoons?

On May 24, at 12:55pm, Sister wrote:

Hi ! Yes- the manuka honey is very appropriate at this time. I think you should know I secretly hoarded it in the closet so no butthead would climb shelves and dig in while I am sleeping, or else dump spoonfuls in hot tea, thus destroying raw honey properties.

I always considered the manuka honey as medicine. I broke it out today since my partner was starting again with lungs hurting / coughing fit. He had recently met people that had “healed” from coronavirus ( they had it maybe a month or two ago). You never know with this disease. they say it returns. maybe this is proof? Anyway, the honey helps.

I am surprised, I thought you had cut off all ties with your ex-husband and his family after the divorce. Ok, I don’t know, i guess if they’d pay it is a good incentive? what a weird relationship. First they raised a crocodile who destroyed the best years of your life, and now they are hinting to you take care of their grand dad. Sorry, I’m just trying to put 2 and 2 together to make sense of it all. Pay is good, though.

if i was you i would pray for direction. this is a special time in your life you actually can find a foothold in this country, your excuse is ; “I don’t want to go to the US now, its infested with coronavirus, plus a stupid president” Maybe the NZ embassy would help.

It is ALWAYS difficult to start in a new country. But your language is the same, at least. If you file with the government and get all your social rights , you can pull through better than in the states. Their social system has got to be better, right? i am not a citizen, and I am not working. i am still getting retirement and health care, which is more than i can say for america. it is a bad country to be alive in, the states, especially now. I hope you got the US government check at least???? Why do they send checks anyway? so people like you can’t get them? in france checks are so old fashioned, the government simply wires money.

Papa said he wanted to send my photos on a CD to me. I had JUST TOLD HIM that I do not have a computer for the millionth time. I would rather he stop send me Super book and other nonsense, save his postage. It is frustrating to do schoolwork without Computer – the eldest kid is just not doing her computer technology lessons, because we can’t . I told him several times. It is about 7 years already i am cobbling things together without computer or printer. So I told him:

This reminds me of the time I told Mama I wanted to send a music CD to our ancient Russian auntie, Totya Lina. She gave me a funny look and said: “where will Totya Lina put your CD? in her butt?”. That is because Totya Lina apparently does not have something so new fangled as a CD player. It is the same in my situation. Where would I put a CD with all the photos? in my butt? I don’t have a device to read a CD at all.

Don’t worry about writing back right away, you have a lot to do, well i completely understand if you want to keep your homecoming a secret. I’ll cooperate!!! i will keep a secret as long as you want. i learned long ago some things are just not worth discussing with them. I better go now! Good night, Love, Sister

On May 25, at 3:16pm, I wrote:

Hi Papa! Thanks so much for sending the $500 – it is greatly appreciated!!

So, i finally decided (just last night) to stay here for another month. I wanted to be home to see the spring flowers, but everyone is telling me that there’s no good reason to go to the states right now. Thanks so much for your advice and kind words – it’s so wonderful to have your understanding with making these decisions.

Besides the chillier weather, i think it will be easier and safer to be here. NZ has only had 12 deaths! Well, they only have 5 million people, too, and isolating a couple of cute islands is a lot easier than isolating an entire continent. I hope you and Sue are still safe and happy at home! Are you able to go to services yet?

How are the spring flowers doing? I wish i could see and smell some big white peonies – i hope you can enjoy that for me! I’ve made a few friends in the Wanaka area, during lock-down and in the 2 weeks since we moved to level 2 lock-down. I think I’ll be able to stay with two or three of them, a week here and a week there… You know how it goes!

And now that we can travel again, i’m going back to some of my favorite spots, like the Nelson area up north. It’ll be warmer there! I’m so glad that the shops are open again! There’s no shortage of wool here, so I’ll get some more socks and the warmest pants i can find. I miss the lodge! It was such a great spot! But really, NZ is full of great spots and i can’t get enough of these epic mountain views.

Although i feel anxious and a little guilty, like i should get back to “real life”, i guess that doesn’t exist right now in the states, so I’m grateful to be in this lovely corner of the globe.
Love, X

On May 26, at 10:51am, Father wrote:

Hi X,
I’m relieved that you made the decision yourself, and that you didn’t feel compelled to return to the States too soon. I’m glad that you chose to stay in NZ.

The news is calling this “the new normal”. It’s not normal at all. Many are jobless and it may be difficult for you to get a job back. Some have received deposits to their bank account from the gov’t while out of work, but that won’t last long. There have been long lines for food distribution for those in hardship.

Another concern is that the news is reporting that, during the Memorial Day weekend, many went on leave from the social distancing, especially at the beach and picnic areas. The president ordered all states to comply, for the opening of churches adhering to social distancing. Our church in had outside services yesterday.

Both my partner and I are doing fine.
Love,
Papa

On May 26, at 12:32 PM, Mother wrote:

X Sheli! How do you do? How is life in NZ?! It is too cold for you there now, huh?! It is summer here [skipped somewhat the spring time]. If the swimming pool will be open – I will believe it, though!

Where are you now? do you have new friends? how is your diet? Are you still a vegetarian? Oh! How is your stomach? Are you controlling your constipation? I hope the food choices there are more healthy than it is here, huh?

Oh! X, did you managed to change the ticket? If you did – I am so, so, so glad for you!

I remember now, my Grandmother was unassuming deaf to both ears person, so she didn’t talk a lot in the public, in their own little society. But people hated her guts, some of them, of course.

My Grandfather was a very tall and very handsome man-oh-man! So, a lot of them thought it is so unfair that she is having him, so there one more reason, too. but all this aside. She has this ability to predict the things which will become. No one wanted to hear it.

The same is looks to be happening here, I have this inner feeling about the things to come and everyone is laughing [as my partner does] or starting to be angry at me as if I do it on purpose to spoil the fun or something. I have this urge to tell, to prevent if it possible of what is coming.

I think that what happened with me, the urgency, the inner push to prevent you to come here in March, April, … I remember, almost physically pushed you, preventing you from coming this way… and now – you can see what has have happened to this man in Minneapolis! Those people are evil and are no-goodnicks! I am crying each time I think about him [George Floyd].

You are was so angry with me, I willing to take it, it is a small price to pay for me – what is important – I prevented you to come here in all those months including May! I know, by now you missed home-sweet -home who wouldn’t?!

But it is good that you have to listen to me, to the reason, maybe, to other people and slowed down. maybe, these people’s and the monster’s unrest will calm down… Now, they say, that when it is hot weather, the virus is not so eagerly spreading itself. I hope your week ahead of you will be pleasant, blessed, safe, and in general, happy!
Love my precious baby! Mother